I began cycle 4 this past Sunday and there is really nothing new to report. All the fun stuff seems to happen when I get home from the hospital. I've been told that I look and sound great. My voice has come back a bit, but I'm still a little hoarse. I wish I felt as good as I look and sound.
All I want to do is sleep. I feel very sluggish and on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday that's all I did. It's as if I slept away the entire week. Sometimes that's a good thing. When you want time to pass, it's easier to sleep away the hours.
The biggest question of the week is whether or not to have a feeding tube. I've been gradually losing weight since cycle 1 (about 20 lbs.) and the doctors are concerned that I may not be able to maintain my weight. They also know how important good nutrition is to the healing process when I am finally recovering from the treatments. I was scheduled to have the feeding tube put in on this past Tuesday, but I canceled the procedure. I've been eating and drinking pretty well and trying to maintain my weight. I feel that I could finish the treatments without the feeding tube but I must say, it is more challenging then I thought it would be. Along with the pain of swallowing, I just don't have a desire to eat and I can't taste food very well. No more cravings. My goal is to get at least 2,200 calories per day. Not an easy task when you don't eat anything and all I am doing is sleeping. So, that has been the challenge. I've been forcing myself to drink the Scandi shakes and to eat as much protein as I can. It's either that or the feeding tube.
It's finally Friday afternoon and I'm sitting in my hospital room waiting for my second radiation treatment for today. Then, at around 6pm, I get to go home. I can't wait. The radiation treatments have been a lot easier to tolerate. The radiation field is now a lot smaller. So I'm hoping that the effects from the radiation will not be as severe as they have been. My goal for the week at home is to eat, eat, eat.
It's been four years now. I'm finally a Senior but when I think about freshman year so long ago the first thing I remember is spanish 263. I met my best friend in your class and couldn't believe how lucky I was to have such a sweet teacher. "Sorkin strums" remember that? I just don't believe it. For all the times after that where we pass each other in the hall and I shout "Hola Senor Sorkin!" you look at me with a huge smile and wave back. "Hola Jessica" how could I have known which one was the last for a while? I've been meaning to write to you, reach out for so long. There are so many people here, students, teachers who talk about how much we miss you Every Day.
ReplyDeleteWe are trying to plan something here at school, but I don't want to say too much yet. I will let you know :)
God Bless