What a week

I've had a very hard time writing this next posting. Partly because I started school on Monday and there just hasn't been a lot of time, but also because I experienced a lot of emotions this week and I've struggled with how to express what I've been feeling. Even now, as I'm writing, so many thoughts are running through my head. So many of the little moments, the interactions I've had with colleagues and students that I experienced this week have affected me in such a huge way. The small gestures of support and encouragement that I received throughout this week from colleagues and students have made me feel so good. They brought tears to my eyes and I find myself getting choked up thinking about all of the love and kindness that people have gone out of their way to send to me. It makes me feel truly blessed. This week, students and colleagues have come up to me to give me hugs. Not just a pat on the back, but real strong, meaningful hugs. Sometimes a hug says so much more than words. I've found notes and little pictures on my desk at school. They always brighten my day. Books, hats and other items were also given to me. I appreciate all of these thoughtful gestures. They have shown me how much people care about me. That feels good and it will undoubtedly give me the strength and the will to get through the tough times that are ahead.

I am also reminded that other people are going through very difficult times in their own lives. Everyone has obstacles thrown at them sometime in their lives. I am dealing with my own now, but I am reminded of obstacles that I have had to overcome, like when my own father passed away at the age I am now. Old emotions that I had buried are resurfacing as I think about my own children or some students who are dealing with their own illness or that of a family member. 

I guess the one thing that stands out from this past week is that I can honestly say that I truly love my job, the place I work, Glenbrook North High School, my colleagues and my students. I don't think I've ever realized how happy that place makes me feel. I know how fulfilled I have been teaching there for the past ten years and I never thought I took it for granted. I've always appreciated every aspect of working at GBN, but I know that now I have an even deeper appreciation.

This has been a great week. Of course, I haven't had chemo since August 17th and everyday that passes I feel stronger and stronger.  It's good to see how quickly my body bounces back. On Monday, I was back at school. I was so happy to get back to work, to see my colleagues and to meet my new students.  I was a bit anxious because I knew that many of them were just finding out what I was going through and that when they saw me, it would be apparent. Shortly after our first meeting I realized that there was no reason to be anxious. Everyone greeted me with such warmth and love. On Wednesday and Thursday, I met my new students. I did my best to break the ice quickly about my situation and I was so impressed how well they all responded to the news. I'm glad I had the opportunity to connect with my students. They truly energized me this week and I can't wait to get back. 

Lastly, Tuesday was my day at the University of Chicago.  First, I had an appointment in radiology for CT scans of my head, neck and chest. Then, I met with my ENT doctor for a post surgery check up. At this appointment, I received some very encouraging news.  The doctor was able to compare the scans I had in July with those I had just taken that morning. She looked at the lymph nodes from both scans and determined that they had shrunk by about 25%.  Needless to say, I was very pleased. The last appointment I had was with my oncologist to go over the logistics of the next part of my treatment; the WO WO treatment (week on, week off) and it begins this Sunday.

My Treatment Schedule

Beginning Sunday, I will go into the hospital for five nights and given 3 different chemo drugs and radiation twice daily.  If everything goes as planned, the dates I will be admitted to the hospital are: 8/29, 9/12, 9/26, 10/10, and 10/24.  On the off week, I will be at home and I will have clinic appointments to go to on Tuesdays.

Done with phase one

I was at U of C yesterday (Tuesday) for my last infusion of the induction chemotherapy. Everything went very smoothly.  Karla and I arrived at 6:45am so I could quickly get my port accessed, have my blood drawn and get to an appointment down in Radiology as close to 7am as possible.

Down in Radiology, they wanted to make another head cast for the radiation part of my therapy. Because I had lost my hair since the last time they made the cast, it didn't fit as snug as they had hoped. The purpose of this cast is hold you completely still during the radiation. I'm not certain why they didn't ask me to cut my hair before the first time they made the cast. It seems that would have been a feasible option. They also did a contrast scan of the head and neck. Fortunately, it was not an unpleasant experience. All the people who work down there are very friendly. We were joking about how I "used to" look like George Clooney and David Hasselhoff and Jon from the Garfield cartoon.

After that appointment, we went back up to the infusion area where I got my LAST dose of Taxol. Again, not an unpleasant experience. Everyone who works there has been cheerful and friendly.  In the infusion room, there's around 30 chairs with curtains for privacy. It's not very private though. The doctors and nurses always close the curtains when they come to talk or ask questions, but everyone around can hear every word. I guess it makes you "feel" like there's more privacy. Anyway, yesterday, I was seated next to a guy who was there for his first treatment. A rookie! He was a very friendly guy who wanted to talk and he and his wife had a lot of questions.  It turns out that he has the exact same diagnosis as me. The only symptom being the swollen lymph node in his neck and they found his primary tumor on the base of his tongue just like mine.  This guy is 60, very fit, never smoked and doesn't drink. Wow! I never realized this type of cancer was so prevalent and undiscriminatory.

Coincidentally, the nurses were handing out SPOHNC awareness bracelets (Support for People with Oral and Head and Neck Cancer). So now, Karla, the kids and I are all wearing them. Here is the website if you're interested in supporting the cause to raise awareness for this type of cancer. http://www.spohnc.org/wristbands.php 

Lastly, I'll be giving myself injections of this drug (Neupogen) to help boost my white blood cell count. Expectedly, it was a bit low due to the Chemo. My nurse gave me a 5 minute lesson on how to give myself a shot and then asked me if I wanted to give myself a "practice" shot. Hmm....I thought about sticking myself with a needle AND for no apparent reason and decided.....ok, why not! My tolerance for pain and fear is pretty good these days. So the nurse handed me a syringe (and needle) filled with a little harmless saline solution. I was instructed to pinch the skin on my abdomen, stick the needle in and inject. I must admit that there was a long pause as I held the needle close to my pinched skin. Then I thought of saving myself three trips down to U of C to get this little, itty bitty shot. So, I stuck myself and injected the saline solution. Done! My kids are very interested in watching me do this. Jessica said she would like to actually give me the shot.  Hmm...Another thing to ponder.  We'll see.

Next week, I go in for various appointments; blood work, a visit to my ENT, Oncologist and then down to radiology for a couple more scans of the head, neck and chest. Then, August 29th I go for my first 5 day stay in the hospital for phase 2; chemo and radiation.

Just a quick update

There's not much to tell.  This past Tuesday, I was at U of C for another infusion of Taxol. I had my blood checked and everything was back to normal. I also had a very thorough hearing exam because one of the side effects of the chemo is hearing loss. I experienced a little hearing loss to high pitched sounds (like the beep of a thermometer). Other than that, my hearing is outstanding.

I've been feeling pretty normal. Not too much fatigue, appetite is good, energy level is up.  One thing I have noticed is my appreciation for the days when I'm feeling well.  I don't take them for granted like I once did. It seems that I am tolerating the new chemo drugs much better than those in the first round. (Hopefully that won't change now that I stated that.)

Lastly, I just have to say that I feel so blessed to have so many of my friends and family reaching out to me and offering support and prayers to us. I can't tell you how deeply appreciative I am for all of your kind words and gestures. My spirit is strengthened knowing that you are behind me and my family. Also, it has been great to reconnect with many of you and I am reminded of the great friends I have had (and still have) in my life.

Thanks for everything. God bless you all.

Round two of phase one

I've been feeling well. My energy level and appetite are almost completely normal. The only time I was reminded of my "situation" was when I looked in the mirror. My hair loss seems to have slowed down, but it's still coming out. It's very thin, but with a hat on, people say it looks like a very short hair cut. 

This past Tuesday, August 3rd, I began a new regimen of infusions. I was given two different chemo drugs: Carboplatin and Taxol. Though the side effects of these drugs are very similar to those of the drugs I had been given in round one, they say I will tolerate them much better.  Only time will tell. As of today (Friday), I have only experienced some fatigue and some joint pain, but it has only been three days. The last time I had an infusion, it was after the 5th day when I began experiencing all of the side effects.

I am now in my fourth week of treatment and still in phase one called induction chemotherapy.  This phase will last for four more weeks. Every Tuesday, I'll be going to the U of C for blood tests and infusions of Taxol.  On Sunday, August 29, I'll begin phase two when I stay in the hospital for five nights and receive chemo and radiation concurrently. Phase two will last for ten weeks.